It always amazes me when I think that other people are just like me. They are thinking, conscious, aware, thoughtful, thought provoking and interesting human beings. They, just like me, have 86400 seconds a day to spend. Choose wisely. I don't. I imagine myself to be a writer and a thinker, I'm neither of those. I think a lot but I don't produce much. My friend Max sent me a draft of his release about BIBC (Basic Income BC) and I didn't even read it or contribute when he gave me the chance. So I'm not much of a thinker, my greatest contribution to humanity is "#RespectListenLove" which I have yet to write about or explain properly. I can't live up to its ideals so why should I expect anyone to. I remember going on a canoe trip with 16 Christians and one of them told me the same.
To change topics, I want to talk about Barb. Barb is my best friend and has been since November 2019. She invited me to her company dinner back then and I was flattered to be invited. Barb is the opposite of Sheri in many ways. She is not sexual at all and unattractive to boot. But I like her. I get along easily with her like I did with Sheri. I think Barb likes taking care of me and taking care of the house and I like that a lot. She does my laundry, makes my bed. I just can't see her as a sexual partner, especially not after Sheri and Lexis. I don't want to "settle" but at the same time I like Barb. She is planning on moving in for a month in September so will see how it goes then.
I can't sleep properly these days, its 7:20am but I have been awake since 5. Wasting my precious seconds of a day. I am currently listening to a Facebook Live chat which is on pause as I wanted to write this. I am thinking of telling Barb everything then see what she says lol. That is a terrible, terrible idea lol. Telling her about this website and the history behind it, letting her know how I really feel about her. I think I have been pretty straight up with her so far. She confuses me.
Sheri was my alcohol phase of my life. In those days, the last few years of our relationship, alcohol was more important to me than Sheri was. I chose alcohol over Sheri as twisted, sick and perverted that sounds I did it. I made that choice, that life changing decision to pick alcohol over Sheri. SO I drover her away and now she won't even speak to me. My mother says it is a fantasy wish to think that I will ever get to chat with her again.
Then I did it again with Lexis. I wrote "Lexis gives me hope" and then went and chose alcohol over Lexis. I thought to myself, Lexis will let me drink and get away with it! So I did. I believed that and she dumped me immediately when I told her I had been drinking that very morning. She gave me an earful that night and she was right in everything she said. It would only take one tragedy to start me drinking again. My mother dying or my father.
This Covid19 disease has infected my family. They are just as paranoid as the rest of them.
Sure, soon. My 1st and 2nd most favorite words in the english language.
I am so sorry I wasted your precious time with me Sheri. The time I spent on twitter, absorbed in the news of the day. Thinking keeping up was more important than the time I spent with you. Barb has sent a reminder about time, will try to upload it here.
I am a very self absorbed, self obsessed, selfish person. I don't think about other people, I am only obsessed with myself and gratifying myself. Seeking comfort, that's what I do. This carnivore diet, when I go on it, is going to change me big time.
1:35pm Barb sent a photo of herself
Compare that to Sheri
God's punishment. What do I have to wake up to, I choose Barb over Sheri. Sober Alex vs Drunk Alex. Drunk Alex rejected Sheri and sober Alex has made friends with Barb of all people.
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