Interesting News today

Sheri is so desperate for business she signed up with Grubhub, UberEats, DoorDash, AllMenu, Seemless maybe some others, now I am getting really worried about her.  Take a look at this invoice from Grubhub

More interesting is I received a call from an Oregon detective looking for me.  I didn't get to speak to him as he hung up before I got to the phone.  Not sure if I should call him back or not at this point.  Never speak to the police they say as they are just looking to incriminate you.  However, I am curious as I don't think I have done anything legally wrong.  Of course there are so many laws and people commit three felonies a day without even realizing it so who knows.  At this point I can't decide what to do.


Update 10:43pm April 30th 2020

Well I called her and left long messages as well as texted Sheri.  If she doesn't get back to me by Monday, if I can last that long, I will do something.

April 30th 2020 - I think I have found her phone number...90% sure

Now I am obsessed with what am I going to say and what would she say to me.

I hate, despise and think of you as a rapist....That probably sums it up.

I don't want her to be dead to me.

I have to keep re-reading this from my mum

Another review on GrubHub...

What am I waiting for?  Courage I suppose as I know she is going to be violent with me after what I wrote to her, assuming she read it of course and from what I have done:  telling her friends, family and complete strangers about this website.  I would make it private if she would just talk to me and be friends again.  No way my mother says, NO WAY. 

April 29th 2020

Well, she is still ignoring me.  Doesn't seem to care if I tell her friends, family or anyone else for that matter.  I have found a couple of possible phone numbers for Lit'l Bites...

She appears to be surviving if this is true which I have no reason to believe otherwise so good for her. Hope she is ok and happy.

Lit'l Bites Review on Yelp

April 23rd Thursday 2020

Well its's Thursday and Sheri still hasn't called me.  I don't think she is going to.  Justine is next.

Stats out of interest

Sheri is not open today - April 22nd 2020

Can't help but wonder what she does on her days off.  I am still worried sick about Lit'l Bites and her financial situation.

Despair

Despair.  That is what I will feel if Sheri doesn't talk to me.  If she resists this pressure...

Vexed is what I feel right now.  Vexed pretty much sums it up. 

I don't think she is going to call me, its Wednesday April 22nd 2020, its been 9 days since I emailed Mark, Rani and sent a facebook message to Tycie.  I know Tycie got it and read it. Stephanie hasn't read hers and I can't delete it.  That is some strong will of Sheri to resist my pressure.

How many friends and family do I have to tell?

Don't make me do this anymore, please, its enough

Mark, his two colleagues, Rani, Tycie, now Stephanie, my dad?

Please make me stop.

I don't want to do it anymore.

PLEASE talk to me

Sheri wasn't open yesterday...

I can't stand that Sheri won't talk to me

It's unbearable.

I feel like she is punishing me

My housemate doesn't even want me to touch her mail

I think my dad knows about this website, my fault for letting him find out.

So I have Google Admin and my dad chasing after me.  Great...

I'm attracting Google admin...

Not sure why, haven't done anything!!!

I feel like the boy who cried wolf

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I have sent another message out

This time it is to Stephanie Clark, cc Mark McCrary and Rani Romero.

Competition for Sheri...

Face it, she hates me

"You ruined my life" she said to me once.  I didn't ruin her life, I ruined our life together.  I ruined that dream of a life together.  I hope she hasn't ruined her life with Lit'l Bites.

I have to face the fact that she no longer loves me and in fact hates and despises me according to Ellen, a friend of mine.  Right now I don't care if Sheri hates me or not, I want to bend her will into talking to me.

Sheri made a house a home and I lost that.  I have a house now but no home without Sheri.

What if she has become bitter and angry.  I can't believe that because of this picture:

The Beehive station put those hearts around Sheri's cart.  It breaks my heart she won't speak to me.  She changed her number after I got a hold of this picture.  Happier times?  Here she is on August 26th 2019

If she doesn't talk to me after what I wrote to her nothing will break her will not to speak to me.  I just wish I could understand it.  Because I don't, at all.  Well barely.  Its still too hard for her to talk to me.  I abandoned her and she can't forgive me for it. "I can't go back to that."

I keep hoping she has written to me.  Nothing, not a word, complete silence.  Brave.  

Statesman Journal Article.

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Sheri and her good friend Billie celebrating the grand opening of Lit'l Bites Jan 2019

Beautiful picture of Sheri August 2018

I can't help it

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Sheri is open today Sunday April 19th 2020!

I am boxed in

I have to respond, I have to carry through with some part of my threat or Sheri will never take me seriously again. I have no choice.

I miss her

That's the bottom line, I miss you Sheri, deeply.  My mother said my writing sounds like a madman.  It's just my thoughts, as scatterbrained as they are.

I'm at my mum and dad's house, the place where it all happened, or a lot of it happened.

I don't understand why she won't talk to me.  After all we went through together the least she can do is talk to me.  I understand she might feel like she hates me now that I have threatened her but she gave me no choice.  I can't respect her decision not to talk to me without understanding why she won't talk to me.

"You're acting like nothing has changed, I should talk to you everyday."
"You're acting like I'm still your wife, that's not true."

"In your mind you're thinking nothing has changed.

"You should have gotten out of that, that, oh my god. My wife may not want to be my wife anymore. I need to do something to show her that I still want her to be my wife.  What would that be Alex?"

"You have to take smaller steps.  The trust has been lost."

"You know what you are you are not understanding?"  "You have to show me that you are the guy I married.  The first time you got me with words.  Unfortunately I am not that same girl, words no longer work for me...You have done this so many times, you have rarely come through.  Why would I think, you need to change how to woo me back.  You should know me well.  Unfortunately you don't.  I want to give you as much time as you need to do this.  I love you, I would fall in love with you again" - July 25th 2016.  "On the other hand, me getting to the breaking point, hate is a strong word, I disliked you so much.  I would hate you.  You are not giving me the time and space to heal."

"I'm still not feeling it Alex."  "You are snarky and say mean things to me."  "You are basically being the same."

I want to be friends like we used to be but she can't do it.

"I see no change at all."  This was after 6 months of trying.

I believe we have an unbreakable bond, she doesn't believe that...

"I lost my best friend a long time ago...it hurts so bad and feels so bad."

That breaks my heart big time.  I feel like a failure for letting her down.

Sheri is open today! - April 18th 2020 - this is not a picture of her food...

"She's dead"

"She's dead" my mum said to me, "she's not dead" I said, "she's dead to you."  I killed her.  I killed her love for me deliberately and now I'm paying for it.  "You ruined my life" she said to me once.  I didn't ruin her life, I abandoned her, that I did do and I regret it deeply.

What if she doesn't contact me. Then what am I going to do.  I have given her until Monday 1:43pm PST or I have warned I will publish "My Secret" a clip I've never made public before and I will contact another of her friends about her past.  To me this is a no brainer, just talk to me and I won't do it.  But she is so stubborn, once she sets her mind to something she is very hard to bend. 

I let her down.  I was all she had and I let her down.  She has Bill and Billie though.  She loved them and still does I'm sure.  She was used to living alone.  Why won't she talk to me now though, I still don't get it. Why did I let her down?  To quit drinking.  I felt I had to get her to leave me to quit drinking, though to this day I haven't.  I had to get her to leave so she could find someone else better than me.  I said that many times to her.  I still don't understand why she won't talk to me.  Not all couples have to end like this. My mother said you have to respect her decision.  All Sheri has said is its too hard for her, she loved me so much and the pain is too great.  I couldn't be a better man for Sheri and she deserves a better man than I.

My mom said it was weird that we have no relationship at all, not all couples end like that.  

My mum reacted to my email to Sheri on April 13th 2020 - "resentment, pride, and despair turned into violence"

"I have to be the most important"

"I have to be the most important, especially from my husband" Sheri told me.  I didn't make her the most important, as unbelievable as that sounds I didn't.  I was selfish and self centered, I didn't deserve her love. Why didn't I make her the most important person in the world to me?  I made my mum more important to me than my wife.  That's another reason we broke up. 

I've had Banya almost as long as Sheri and I have been broken up.  I got Banya in December of 2016, the same time when Sheri said she wanted a divorce.  It took me until her wanting a divorce for me to take her seriously about wanting to split up.  It was too late by then, Sheri was too far gone away from me emotionally.  She couldn't be further away emotionally than she is right now.  I have just made the situation worse but I can't help myself.

I abandoned her.  I abandoned her emotionally, for that I will never forgive myself.  I didn't realize that's what I was doing at the time, or did I?  "Stand on your own two feet" I said.  I knew what I was doing, I cannot forgive myself for that.  That was cruel and unnecessary.  Now I am being cruel and unnecessary.  I want to force her to talk to me.  That's what I'm doing.  She wants nothing to do with me at all.

I don't think I'm making unreasonable demands.  Talk to me and other stuff.

"I can't go back to that" ok you don't have to.  Just go back to talking to me and being friends with me, that will be a start.

I would get drunk and not even come out to greet her when she arrived on Gabriola.  I would be drunk and she would threaten to leave, my mother begged her to stay.  I drove her away deliberately, I cry inside and out thinking about it.  I destroyed her love for me deliberately when I didn't have to.  Why oh why did I do it.  I thought it was the best thing to do.  My warped twisted mind told me it was the right thing to do and I believed it.  Now I have the consequences to face of that choice.

"I don't want to be done" you said and I made sure we were done.  I made sure of that alright.

I would drink for at least 3 days straight to stay drunk until I finally sobered up and was loving towards you when you came to visit on Gabriola.  I only gave you half your vacation at best.  Why did I do that.  To punish you for being with an alcoholic.  My innocent sweet flower, I punished you for my own sins.

I don't want it to be over.

Life without Sheri sucks.  I should have thought of that before I drove her away.

"You mentally tortured me."  I did I suppose, not consciously but subconsciously.  I am mentally torturing myself now and you.

I prefer alcohol and drugs, marijuana to women.  Is that true?  I learned that I prefer Sheri to alcohol so that is not true.  Even though I couldn't stop drinking when I was desperately trying to woo her back to me.  Which failed miserably.  Separated June 2016, December 2016 she wanted a divorce...

Don't know if she is open today but hope she is!

Sheri is open today April 16th 2020 at the BeeHive Station Food Pod!

More Food - Sheri/Tasha made this!

I feel a lot of anticipation.  I have given her a week and it has been three days with no word.  I am beginning to think I won't hear from her which is disappointing.  I threatened to publish a clip never seen before by anyone other than me if she doesn't talk to me.  It's very naughty. I keep checking my email to see if she has written to me, just a word, anything at all.  Nothing.  Total silence.  It is heartbreaking. The silence is deafening. I have to keep reminding myself I told her I would give her a week.

I didn't want Sheri around.  That's why I drank when she came to visit me.  As unbelievable as it sounds I didn't want her to visit me.  She knew it too and it broke her heart.  Breaks my heart thinking about it.

I have nothing to offer Sheri.  Nothing, other than my friendship which she doesn't want.  I was thinking what does she think of me, she probably thinks of me as a rapist.  

Sheri was open yesterday at the BeeHive!