Good question Stanley, I don't think so, but I could be. There is definitely something wrong with my brain, I don't think like other people, I have a hard time emphasizing with my own families feelings and still do. I'm obsessed with Sheri, I think about her all the time, that could be retarded.
I have spoken to Sheri a couple times in the last two weeks, now I will not get to talk to her for another two weeks which sucks. She dare not tell anyone that she is talking to me, not her housemates, not her friends, not her family. All because I betrayed her trust and she exposed herself to them so now they all hate me. I imagine that any advice or counsel she might get would go alone the lines of Alex is a predator, he's an abuser, a narcissist, might even go so far as to say a sociopath. All her friends and family would be telling her to run, run as far away as she can get from me. Well, I am still going to try, I am going to try and lure her back to me. The fact is we were made for each other, we are so intune it's sick. I would like her to come here next Christmas and see my family. I should take her to Mexico or Cuba, somewhere hot but I'm worried my mum is going to die soon. She just had a stroke and is prime for another one.
I was thinking about Sheri and I, we have been in a serious relationship for 20 years now. To simplify, I would say the first 10 years were good, punctuated with my manic episodes, paranoia and misguided sense of values. The last 10 years were mostly downhill because of my alcoholism and manic episodes. The low points were when she separated from me in June 2016, divorced me in November 2017, I doxed her in I think March 2019, I quit drinking completely Nov 6th 2021 and now here we are today. So it's been going uphill since that low point in March of 2019.
Am I retarded?
I gave up the woman and partner of my dreams in favour of alcohol, that was pretty retarded.
I gave up custody of 420 Bitcoins, that was pretty retarded.
I am about to lose my family over covid injections, that would be retarded.
Ya, I'm retarded.
