I haven't been drinking since at least January 9th 2021. Been good about that. I remind myself that I want to stay sober and alcohol free for Sheri and because I lost Sheri over alcohol, and because I abandoned Sheri in order to quit alcohol and to give her a better life. But I grow impatient, I don't understand why she won't tell me what is going on, why she hasn't contacted me. She could text or call me anytime. I so want to text or call her. I know she is not busy, she has been closed while the snow and power shut everything down at the Beehive. So why won't she reach out to me? She doesn't want to talk to me. She has gone from wanting to talk to me to not wanting to talk to me. That's the only explanation I can think of other than "go at my pace." Going at her pace is agonizing.
She said she was scared of me. I posted her phone number on this website and a bunch of you called and she didn't like it very much at all. I told her she could have stopped me at any time by talking to me and she said if you loved me you wouldn't have done it in the first place. I did it because I love her so much, crave her attention and was willing to do anything to get it. Even now still I crave just a word from her. A text saying "I will call you soon." Something anything.
She gave me so much hope from our conversation that she would continue to talk to me and we could develop some sort of relationship again. I still have that hope, I just have to refrain myself from reaching out to her in any way. I don't think she reads this blog at all.
Somebody is reading it, here are todays stats:
So thanks to whomever reads my rambling thoughts and hears tales of my misadventures with alcohol and Sheri.
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