Women, relationships, friendships and money, Bitcoin. Screwed up my relationship with Sheri, I had her completely in the palm of my hands. She would do whatever I wanted out of love for me and I let her go because I thought I loved alcohol more. I had 420 Bitcoins in the custody of my own wallet and I let them all go out of my custody never to come back. So how do I feel. I've had a couple of years now to get over this but I haven't. I won't ever get over it, just like Sheri will never get over me exposing her publicly and the way I dumped her.
So what does this mean? Sheri hasn't given up, she has moved on. She has a new garden to tend to now that I am not a part of. She has realized that she doesn't need me at all. Ironically it's what I wanted, I wanted her to be more emotionally self reliant and she is. But the side effect has been that she doesn't need me any more.
As for me? I think I have drunk myself into a slow and painful death. It hurts my side when I cough, used to be like that on right side now just left side. Been like this for about 4 weeks. Went and saw the doctor, said it was a bruise and would heal. I think that's a misdiagnosis, I need to call and talk to my doctor and tell him about my drinking. Been three weeks today I have been totally dry, no alcohol at all.
I screw up my relationships and other friendships. Barb has told me that she is not going to be my friend like she was before. She hasn't explained why not. Sheri told me that she told 20 of her close friends and family about idrinkpiss.com and her drinking piss for a living on our website. I don't even have that many friends and family, she was my family and I threw her away. She came with all her family and friends and I discarded that too. Just like I discarded Carol, whom I didn't love.
Anyways, so I'm feeling down I guess, that or I feel normal, which is worse? Went from being a hero to being a zero when I gave up custody of those Bitcoins and lost Sheri.
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