Monday, October 19, 2020

October 19th 2020 - Looking at Sheri's pictures makes me cry

It's 8:40am and I am all alone by choice.  Looked at some of my last pictures of Sheri on Google photos, they just make me want to cry so I stopped looking at them.  

Why oh why did I do it.  To stop drinking or so I thought...I am going to write an intro to this blog so it makes a bit more sense...

Welcome to www.idrinkpiss.com, this is the infamous website that used to be the home of "Tasha" the piss drinking queen from 2004-2007.  It is now run and managed as a blog/vlog by her ex-husband, her partner in crime, who produced and starred in all those hundreds of videos with "Tasha," who is really Sheri XXX of XXXX 

She won't even speak to me, gives me no attention at all even after 15 years of marriage and four years being separated and subsequently divorced.  I have done many things with the web site, so right now it is my blog where I share my thoughts with you the public.  I haven't advertised the site at all beyond its own fame and legacy because I don't have anything really profound to share as yet.  

I always thought Sheri and I would be pals for life.  I couldn't believe otherwise, I refused to even contemplate otherwise.  How wrong I was.  She withdrew her attention and now, 4 years later I am still lost without her.  She told me she had to remake herself, build a new life without me in it turns out.  I never dreamed she would do that to me.  So this website is all I have left of her, its all I have of her now.  I still dream that one day that will change.  

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Updated the description of the website, only get 500 characters so had to cut it short.   I have to get a covid19 test and can't work again until I do.  My father is being super cautious around me.  I am getting a test at 3:45pm today, just talked to my doctor and the clinic.

I wanted to get out of work today and what a fuss it has caused.  Now my parents are concerned they have it so don't want to see any of their friends.  I have been barred from work without a clear test, was it all worth it?  We will see.  

I wish more of you would write to me.  I could advertise this site heavily, I have so much behind the scenes photoage I could use.

What I really want is to be pals with Sheri again, I still hope, dream that is possible.  Even a fraction would suffice, a 30 minute call a month, that's it.  She won't do it.  Stubborn woman.  The most stubborn woman I know, sets her mind to something and that's it, no changing her mind.  

Why can't I have some joy in her life?  I want her to share her life with me so I can have some joy in my life for her. 

I asked my friend Barb what brings her joy, I can't remember what she said exactly but it was probably family, friends, something like that.  Nothing brings me joy anymore.  Lexis brought me joy but I lost her to alcohol.  I chose alcohol over Lexis, just like I did Sheri.  I can't make that mistake again with the next woman. 

12:45pm - I treat my dog Banya no better than I treated my wife, Sheri.  Why is that, what is wrong with me? 

3:40pm Sheri brought me much joy.  I want to know that she has blossomed.  I felt I was holding her back from becoming an even more beautiful flower. 



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