I wish she would text me daily. I wish I could talk to her more than once a week. I should be grateful for what she gives me. I have another website idrinkpiss.wordpress.com where I threatened Sheri if she didn't talk to me. The post is dated August 28th 2018 and explains a lot. I was so consumed about Sheri not talking to me I didn't think through about how to protect and custody that last 100 Bitcoins so I left them in QuadrigaCX foolishly. Those Bitcoins were for Sheri and I's retirement and I squandered custody of them. I will never get over or forgive myself for that. Just like I will never forgive myself for betraying Sheri's trust on this website. I think about it every day. I had lost the Bitcoins, I figured I had nothing left to lose if Sheri won't talk to me again. I am grateful that she is talking to me now. That is a big improvement over silence but I am always going to want more. I want us together and happy again like we were. I feel like we can be again but it is going to take her will to want it. It would have been a lot easier if I had those Bitcoins. That was the plan, win her back after dumping her and dumping alcohol. Crazy plan. I have quit drinking again, my body is really telling me something this time, I have to quit and I have. All alcohol completely, beer included. I have started drinking "Bubly" flavoured sparkling water, its good.
Back to Sheri, I want to ask her why did she drink my piss hundreds of times? How did it make her feel? Why did she never want me to drink her piss? Why did she never want or offer to drink my piss off set? Sometimes she wore her "piss in my mouth" dark lipstick and I would point it out and she would laugh and smile but say no more. She never asked to drink my piss unless we were filming. I want to ask her about that. I also want to ask her about the time in Vancouver when we thought about getting a third person, a man, I even posted a message looking for one for water sports and got a few replies. I considered it, from a business perspective it was a good idea but personally I didn't know how I would feel afterwards if I let another man piss in her mouth and have her drink it. It's pretty intimate to drink someones piss. It's the most intimate thing you can do for another person. Can't eat their shit, that's not safe. Piss is totally sterile, its used on cuts.
Sheri was totally into it, she would have done it if I had asked her to. I never filmed us having sex, anal sex at that, ever because Sheri and I agreed that was our private moments. Crazy me. Didn't really plan for Sheri to leave me. But I did, I did plan it and I did plan for it. I also planned to win her back by being a better me and rich, I'm not a better me and I'm poor.
Sheri told me she has not drunk anyone else's piss but mine. That means she has not gotten that intimate with anyone since me. That's a good thing.
It took her forever to pry out my fetish from me, I couldn't tell her my fantasy was to piss in a woman's mouth and have her drink it. I still don't remember the day I told her, I wish I could. I know she said ok, you can piss in my mouth but I won't drink it. And I did, every chance I got and did it on film, lost all those clips and pictures now but still remember some moments. Side of the road, at a rest stop. And the moment she first drank it. Over the toilet at the phoenix inn in Salem, Oregon. It was a thrill. Then she drank it again in the bathtub, I filmed and lost that footage too but I remember it.
It was the kinkiest thing she had ever done for me. Anal sex, and regular anal sex was the first, she was totally into that too, loved it. Then she begged for my fantasy and fulfilled it. My ultimate fantasy was to create a piss website, had been for years and when Sheri let me piss in her mouth and drank it I knew she would agree to making a piss website. She said to me recently, "then it became all about the website." She's is right, it did. I only wanted to piss in her mouth and have her drink it as Tasha, never Sheri. I was obsessed with the website. I have a couple of clips of Sheri drinking and taking my piss in her mouth but I will never share those unless Sheri says ok. I turned down taking a cruise to Alaska with my wife because I wanted to film her as Tasha on the cruise and she said no. If I had I want to piss in Sheri's mouth and have her drink she would have.
What a fool am I. I am so foolish in life. Lost the best woman as a partner I could have created in my imagination. Had all the Bitcoins in the world would ever need, 420 and now here I am with nothing.
Had it all, lost it all. Story of my life.
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