September 4th 2023

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August 30th 2023 Update

XXX is still here, been here since November 6th of last year.  She is currently living with and looking after my mum who is recovering from a stroke.  

We are not back together, my dream of that happening has not transpired but we are friends.  She says she will never drink piss again nor be photographed or videoed by me.  We will see, that might be temporary. 

We are trying to get on with one another and be friends after the tragedy of my exposing her which traumatized her understandably.  I need her to forgive me for us to move on.  

In the meantime, I am going to reactivate www.idrinkpiss.com 

The decline of morality has been proposed as one of the reasons for the fall of empires. Some historians and scholars argue that declining moral values can lead to social decay, cultural decay, and ultimately the collapse of a civilization¹. 

Just doing my bit to push the collapse along  :) 

April 1st 2023 Update

We'll, it's April fools day but what I'm about to say is real.   XXX is here right now sitting on my couch watching tv. She has been in Canada for five months, since November.   She arrived broken and I am helping to put her back together again.  

I still love her, I still want her and I am working to win back her trust.  I plan to marry her again and today I gave her another reason why.  Because I need a chapter in our book called "I married my ex-wife the porn star."  Something like that. 

Things between us are going well and with each passing day she trusts and believes me a little more.

The new site is going ahead when I get around to it.

November 14th 2022 - I'm sitting here with Tasha

I'm sitting here with Tasha in my living room.  Right now

4am, Tasha is sleeping in my bed.

October 1st 2022 - The new site is live, well the top page is!!!

Exciting times, hopefully will be able to make it a hit! 

September 29th 2022 - Bad News...

This is why the new site is needed!  So fans can find their favorite stars and performers!

September 29th 2022 - Spent last two days trying to move hosts - WildWestDomains

First it was my fault, not having access to an email account, now I can't change name servers to new a host :\ 

Hopefully this gets resolved today

September 27th 2022 - We are moving!

We are moving hosts.  Bought host in the Netherlands that looks good, should start coming together soon.  

Stay tuned.

September 27th 2022 - The dark side of the porn industry

My blog is a warning to everyone in the adult entertainment industry. 

You can be exposed to the world and made to suffer unspeakable horror and fear.  Just ask my ex-wife. 

She needs to tell me more about it, she hasn't told me much other than getting phone calls and mail from freaks who say and write unspeakable things to her to make her fear for safety in her own home.  I did that, I did it deliberately and consciously because I felt I owned her.  To bend her to my will from hundreds of miles away on a remote island I felt I could control her and make her speak with me.  

She is still being terrorized, please STOP IMMEDIATELY!!!

This blog is a cautionary tale to all those who enter this world

I am still in it, she is not.  One of each side of the coin, yin and yang

She is out of the business completely and no longer drinks piss.  STOP TERRORIZING HER

I killed Tasha by exposing Sheri, my loss but I still love and adore Sheri, always will

I want her back more than anything

I am telling the truth and reconciling with her 

I am telling our story so this never happens to anyone ever again

September 25th 2022 - Going to redesign and relaunch this website.

In the future, idrinkpiss.com will no longer link directly to this blog.  

Instead it will link to a top 5 Amateur Piss Drinking porn stars web pages.  I have @polysure signed up, @pisswhore, @kateandkyle, @stepfatherBR and @YellowMorning as well.  

Draft landing page:

 

Progress so far - Posted local ad on facebook warning this was for an adult site, got one response from a friend lol.  Have to think about that...So I went to freelancer and posted a job with explicit description.  Hired someone from India, about 20 minutes later was fired from freelancer.com!!!

 Look at this list, where am I on this list???

1pm update

Chatting with web developer in India.  Negotiating about the price now, been an interesting discussion.  I keep thinking to myself I could do this myself but then I remember what a job I did...but I am blowing my budget on one contractor...be smart!  

New template:

Another one

Another

Here's the ad that got me fired from freelancer:

Latest

v2

"Who are We"

September 24th 2022 - Welcome Polysure from Fansly!

Polysure is an awesome piss drinker !!!

Here is her link

https://fans.ly/r/Polysure

September 22nd 2022 - #FreeXXX

Somebody has read my blog and called me a monster for what I did to Sheri.  They are right, I was a monster, drunk with power and ripe with callousness and indifference.  I'm not that person anymore.

I have turned over a new leaf, I'm a changed man from the one I once was.  I don't touch alcohol and in just over six weeks it will be one year.  After drinking for 40 years it is making a big difference in my clarity of thought and feelings towards Sheri.  I can be a better man and I can be a better husband for Sheri.

 

I will address them one by one in the order they were posted:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "November 21/22 2021 - What does Sheri want?":

Dude - leave this poor woman the fuck alone. You are a crazy unhinged loser who doxed this poor woman and posted videos of her drinking your piss for the world to see. . You suck and are toxic. She deserves better

I did suck and I was toxic, that's why I dumped Sheri in the first place because I felt I was a toxic human being and she deserved better.  That was in 2015-2016, the moment she dumped me I regretted it.  She felt and still feels, abandoned by me, that I let her go.  How could I have done this to my angel?  Well I did and I tried everything to make up for it and win her back but she divorced me in 2017.  I have been trying non stop for over six years to get her back.  She didn't talk to me for I think two to three and a half years.  Now she is and is willing to see me.  I can and am a better person because of her.

 

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "November 23rd 2021 - I failed Sheri, again.":

She divorced you because you are a garbage human being and a massive fucking loser. Leave her the FUCK ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!

You are right, that is why she divorced me, she was done with me.  Well, now she needs me, just like I needed her she needs me and I want to be there for her.  I was a loser and a failure, I'm not anymore.  I have started my life over again at 54.  I can never leave her alone, I care too much about her, she is my angel, my flower to water and nurture. 

 

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "November 24th 2021 - Custody":

I'm glad you lost your bitcoins. It's karma.

Maybe it is Karma, I am slowly making my peace with it, gets less painful each day.  

Also - she didn't look like she was enjoying your piss in any of the videos.

You are wrong about that and I have the videos to prove it.  

You suck.

I never should have exposed her, that sucked, that ruined everything.  That was after I lost the last 100 Bitcoins in Quadriga in January 2019, by March I had doxed Sheri on this website.  I wanted her to obey me and I was desperate for some of her attention.  Pathetic excuses compared to what I put her through.

 

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "November 25th 2021 - Sheri and I aren't going to be rich":

Hahahaha. Lost a good woman and your bitcoin - well deserved. Now leave her alone and stop harassing her loser

I have been carefully going at her pace for over a year and a half.  I am not harassing or terrorizing her like some crazed fans are still doing.  I am wooing her back to me, is that so wrong?

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "December 24th 2021 - Day 4/10 Christmas eve":

#FreeSheri

#FreeSheri, I love it!  I am going to set her free of the situation she now finds herself in.  #FreeSheri of me?  Never.  Sheri and I #WeAreUs.  We are one, we are two sides of the same coin, yin and yang.  

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "September 22nd 2022 - Sheri update and response to posts":

You're a monster. I feel so bad for poor Sheri. 

I was a monster, I'm not one anymore and I'm going to prove it to Sheri by wooing the pants off her.

September 22nd 2022 - Sheri update and response to posts

When I started writing this blog my goal was to get Sheri back.  Why, because I love her, am obsessed with her and quite frankly don't want anyone else.  I went through Lexis, Barb, Cindy, Colleen, couple of others over the last six years but no one comes close.  The relationship with Lexis was an exciting one cause she is such a hot potato, but in the long run it wouldn't last.

For more than a year, since January 6th 2021, I have been talking to Sheri once a week for about an hour, hour and a half at a time.  That has not stopped.  Well, the dam broke this week and I have been talking to her everyday with video, which is really exciting and makes me feel closer to her.

Why do I say the dam broke?  Because Sheri said she will come visit me and will stay for as long as she wants!!!

Why is she coming?  She is coming to get and feel love from me!!!

Why would she want that???  Because I want to give it to her.

I came up with this plan to quit drinking when I was in treatment and going though the AA program.  I felt that I had to give up that which was most precious to me, Sheri, in order to quit drinking.  At the same time I also planned to win her back. 

My plan was: dump Sheri, quit drinking, win Sheri back.  That's what I honestly thought.  What I didn't think of was I was also abandoning Sheri.  If I had connected the word "abandon" I never would have done it, at least I don't think so. 

Regardless I did it and Sheri left me, but even this did not stop me drinking.  Nope.  It took me losing almost all our remaining Bitcoins to do that.  Condemning me and Sheri to a simple, moderate lifestyle for life.  

I didn't plan on or expect to expose Sheri to the world either, that never crossed my mind back in 2015 when I dreamt up this crazy idea at the "Together We Can" rehab center.  I think another reason I exposed her was because I felt I had no other options, I had nothing left.  She wouldn't speak to me, hadn't for a year and a half, I was desperate and this was a hail mary pass.  She begged me not to do and I did it anyways.  Awful, awful thing to do.  So cruel, callous and uncaring.  I did not imagine the horror and fear that this would put her through and continues to this day.  She still gets mail and messages from freaks who even threaten to harm her.  It's awful what I put her through and I am ashamed of myself for doing it.  Even worse, I didn't take it down for a year.  I even posted her home address for a couple of days until I thought to myself, what, am I insane?

So to answer your question, yes I did publish that, right here on this website.  I didn't contact her dad, or work, or neighbours or the police.  But I did publish it and to this day she still has to live with the repercussions of what I did to her.  I am ashamed of myself, I regret my thoughtless dispassionate action. Maybe I was a sociopath at the time, I'm not anymore.  I'm dry and sober for almost a year now.  Sober for over a year and half and dry for just shy of a year.  My brain is clearing, I take my meds religously daily.  I am a new man.  Literally I am as fat as a pile of shit now and figuratively I feel completely different.  I am different. 

I have had no consequences to my action in exposing Sheri to the world.  Sheri has experienced nothing but terror, fear, shame, embarrassment, mortification, humiliation.  PLEASE STOP DOING IT.  I have experienced none of that, she wants me to feel at least some of what she has gone through.  I have some ideas I can't write about yet so will see.  

I've had lots of help, I've had counsellors, therapists, treatment, pysch wards and drugs, love is the answer.

Sheri and I are going to start a new life together based on respect, listening, love, empathy, compassion and patience.  

My plan was to come full circle and it is happening.  Yin and Yang, Sheri and I are yin and yang, we fit together perfectly.

This story will have a happy ending.

September 7th 2022 - God is Energy, Love is God's Energy

"Connection is more important than content." Zuckerburg said something like that and it is so true.  Make a connection, use it, grow it.  I always ask myself "What are you going to do Alex?" What am I going to do?

Love is the meaning of life, no question about that, should be obvious to anyone.  What feels better than love?  We all want to surround ourselves with love and where do we get love from, other human beings. 

 

I have figured out the meaning of life.

 

What is the meaning of Life?

Love is the meaning of Life

Surround yourself with love

Love is God's energy

Energy is God's love

God is energy

Energy is God

 

 

 

July 21st 2022 - Dear Sheri letter

"Are you still having a tantrum because your not getting your way?" Sheri wrote to me today at 9am.

Dear Sheri,

No, I am not throwing a tantrum.  I don't know what to do.  "Not getting my way," what is my way?  I am just trying to get you to be kind by being civil to me.  Like you would treat any other human being but you won't do it and you won't explain why not.  

You complain if I send texts, as if they are harmful to you.  I don't know what to do, I'm at a loss.  I feel right now as if you have less than no feelings for me whatsoever, in fact you see me as subhuman.

I think you used to like me calling you.  You expected and almost looked forward to it.  So I feel like we have gone backwards, is that because of me or is it because of you and your issues?

I'm not giving up, I just want to be moving forward, not backwards in our relationship and I feel like we have just taken a giant step backwards.   

==========================================================================

Well I talked to Sheri today and she is in a bad way.  She doesn't love herself anymore and that is why she doesn't reply to my texts.  It's not me that's subhuman, it's that she doesn't feel human or normal right now, that's what's going on.   

I feel bad for her but I'm glad it's not me. 

July 21st - Things with Sheri are not going well, what am I thinking or dreaming

Relations with Sheri are not going well, I wrote a couple of days that they were but they are not.  Been trying for six years to win back her affection and attention but it is not working.  I like to dream, I am a dreamer but this feels like a useless effort.  She needs someone new in her life that will emotionally sweep her off her feet because I can't do it.  

There is too much water under the bridge, too much damage done by me to her for her to forgive me so she is incapable of being kind to me anymore.  

I don't know what I'm going to do, still thinking about it.

July 18th 2022 - What a weekend and what a day today will be.

I had a godshot weekend, I am totally floating on a pink cloud after what I experienced on Saturday that I am going to share with you all.  

I finally quit drinking for good some time in November of 2021.  That's when I came to realize I was a total failure and alcohol had ruined me.  It ruined my marriage to the woman of my dreams, it made me lose 420 Bitcoins, all of which I have no one but myself to blame.  I am now completely dry, not one drop of alcohol has crossed my lips in eight months, I never thought I would see the day.  It has taken me 40 years to get here.

Back to the weekend.  My dear friend Joel asked me if I wanted to go to the Gabriola AA camp-out at Descanso Bay, Gabriola Island this past weekend.  Doing anything with Joel is fun and a blast so I immediately said yes!  Well it was AWESOME, I feel so alive!  The love and the energy was fantastic, 93 people from AA and Al-Anon gathered to support, love, hug, care and connect with one another.  It was a wonderful experience.  I cried when we all said the serenity prayer.  I cried when the group did a countdown led by Joel and his friend Peter, starting at 40 years sobriety all the way down to eight days.  I was so moved as I past by my fellow alcoholics and sufferers who all reached out to me to touch my hand or even hug me.  We all cheered "I Love My Life!" I do.  I used to hate myself, I used to hate my life, I used to be miserable and depressed all the time, now I am alive.   It's not the bi-polar medication I have been taking for years it's the removal of alcohol from my system bit by bit.  I am coming back. 

I want to experience what I felt on Saturday again, I have done two AA zoom meetings already!!!   Not the same at all...I felt love in that group, I felt touched by it.  It was a wonderful feeling and reminded me why human beings crave love.  It is the meaning of life.  

Today's Daily Reflections is titled "GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE" and how appropro is that for me after losing everything and now coming back and rebuilding including my relationship with Sheri.  Which is going really, really well I am pleased to report. 

June 15th 2022 - Long time no write

 

Febuary 1st 2022 - Am I retarded?

Good question Stanley, I don't think so, but I could be.  There is definitely something wrong with my brain, I don't think like other people, I have a hard time emphasizing with my own families feelings and still do.  I'm obsessed with Sheri, I think about her all the time, that could be retarded.  

I have spoken to Sheri a couple times in the last two weeks, now I will not get to talk to her for another two weeks which sucks.  She dare not tell anyone that she is talking to me, not her housemates, not her friends, not her family.  All because I betrayed her trust and she exposed herself to them so now they all hate me.  I imagine that any advice or counsel she might get would go alone the lines of Alex is a predator, he's an abuser, a narcissist, might even go so far as to say a sociopath.  All her friends and family would be telling her to run, run as far away as she can get from me.  Well, I am still going to try, I am going to try and lure her back to me.  The fact is we were made for each other, we are so intune it's sick.  I would like her to come here next Christmas and see my family.  I should take her to Mexico or Cuba, somewhere hot but I'm worried my mum is going to die soon.  She just had a stroke and is prime for another one.  

I was thinking about Sheri and I, we have been in a serious relationship for 20 years now.  To simplify, I would say the first 10 years were good, punctuated with my manic episodes, paranoia and misguided sense of values. The last 10 years were mostly downhill because of my alcoholism and manic episodes.  The low points were when she separated from me in June 2016, divorced me in November 2017, I doxed her in I think March 2019, I quit drinking completely Nov 6th 2021 and now here we are today.  So it's been going uphill since that low point in March of 2019.   

 

Am I retarded?

I gave up the woman and partner of my dreams in favour of alcohol, that was pretty retarded.

I gave up custody of 420 Bitcoins, that was pretty retarded.

I am about to lose my family over covid injections, that would be retarded.

Ya, I'm retarded.

January 14th 2022 - If I don't get another injection I will lose my family.

My mother is on the verge of another stroke, my father has threatened to kill me if she does as he will blame me for her stress and high blood pressure.  Its 161 over 101 right now, last time they informed me at about 11am today.

I went over to my parents house at around 10am this morning to pick something up and drop something off.  I was scheduled for an appointment to be re-injected at 1:15pm but had been thinking about it and wanted to discuss it with my parents.  I sat down at the table and said to my mother I had been having second thoughts about being re-injected with a cocktail of chemicals again.

Well this was just like setting off a bomb in the kitchen.  You would have thought I had pulled a knife and tried to stab my mother.  Everything escalated, everything.  I couldn't help myself, I had to respond to things they said and was eventually driven out the house by my mother telling me to leave.  

They said I was I was a threat to them, that I threatened their health by not being re-injected. One minute everything was fine and the next minute they wanted me out of their lives because I am having second thoughts about re-injecting my body with a cocktail of strange chemicals. Clearly it helps with symptoms and keeps many out of hospital if they catch covid, but what is it also doing that I don't know about?  Anyway, so I am questioning the wisdom of going through with this and thought could have a reasonable discussion about it and instead they are both on the verge of a stroke.  I'm a cruel man, my father said to me.  I'll get back to that.  

I am seeing my life dissipate before my eyes over covid and vaccinations just like I saw it happen in slow motion with Sheri.  I made that happen and I am making the breakup with my parents happen.  I have to put a stop to this, it has all gone downhill since Christmas Day December 25th 2022.  Every time I see them it gets worse, our relationship gets worse and worse with each passing day. 

This is all completely unintentional.  I am not trying to set them off, I didn't walk into their house this morning thinking, I know, I'll be cruel to my mum and dad today or whatever they are thinking.  Yet they think I was cruel to them and am being cruel.

I can't seem to say anything right these days at all.  Something, everytime I see them sets my mum off.  She is a powder keg.  We need to not see each other for a while, maybe three months or so, have a cooling off period cause something is broken in our relationship and it's not clear to me what it is but something is seriously wrong.  It shouldn't be like this.

I find this all terrifying.  What happened today happened because I said I was having second thoughts about being injected for the second time.  What happens when it is the third? or the 4th? or the 5th? and so on? At this rate both my parents will be dead from stress. 

Something is seriously wrong here.  I say I am questioning the wisdom of being injected yet again this afternoon, they say I am a threat to their health all of a sudden and need to take the injection to keep them and me out of hospital.  But I have Ivermectin, Vitamin D and other drugs ready to deal with early symptoms of covid just like Joe Rogan did.  I bought it on the black market. So I'm ready.  You on the other hand could have another stroke which would be devastating.

Please calm down.  I won't call again.  I'll try not to contact you.  This is not right, I shouldn't be the cause of this, I really don't understand what is going on or why. 

In truth the only explanation I can rationally come up with is that my family are wedded to vaccinations like being in a cult.

They might think they have science on their side but I don't see it, all I see are a sea of questions about the wisdom of continuously injecting oneself with a cocktail of chemicals that have unknown short term risks and long term effects.

My father said I was a cruel man today.  Let me make a confession, I am having a hard time feeling what they are feeling.   I can't emphasize with how they feel about this issue.  If that makes me cruel so be it, maybe I have become cruel over the years.  My Mum wants me to move away, so does my Dad.  I have not become a better son, the pressure over these injections have made myself a pariah to my family.  

====================

On another note, Sheri did not call me today, this morning in fact.  She said yesterday she would text me this morning if she wanted to talk and she didn't.  She told me some intimate details about herself yesterday that I cannot share but made me hopeful that she would want to spend more time with me.  Disappointingly that was not the case.  I constantly worry that she will cut me off.  Yesterday I almost encouraged her to cut me off if that was what she needed to do.  

She kept asking, how can I trust you again?  How can I trust anyone again?  Good question.  I think we can grow to trust each other again. I hope we can, I want us too.